Sing me a song of your story

Cats is a feline fever dream. And quite possibly the cinematic experience of the year. Not because it is the best film, or even a great one, but because of its sheer audacity to be such an unapologetically weird movie. It is a Hollywood blockbuster film, with A-List talent, that makes little to no sense. This is quite the accomplishment, and one I was not prepared for.

I have never seen the musical. I only know of its prestige by word of mouth and the greater cultural ethos. So to my surprise, the actual plot of Cats is bonkers:

There is a tribe of cats called the Jellicles. Once a year they gather from all over the city for a singing competition. The winner of competition gets the opportunity to fly into the sky and be reborn as whatever they want.

So basically, they’re a cult. The movie is about a cult of cats committing their yearly ritual sacrifice. However, this plot is buried in fun and playful songs. This horrifying story is told over two hours. The screen time is primarily devoted to every cat in the competition singing their own song to introduce themselves as a character. You are literally watching character introductions from beginning to end.

Usually a film will establish visual rules and follow them throughout the movie. Part of what makes Cats such a wild ride, is that there are no rules! Anytime my brain got use to one part of the movie, it would change in the next scene.

Right off the bat it’s just impossible to tell, how a cat is supposed to dress. Some cats are fully “naked” in that they are just their fur. Some cats, have fur coats over their fur. Some where hats. Some where shoes. Some walk on two feet, some on all fours. One cat apparently has a full body cat suit that she can unzip to reveal her actual fur body underneath!

Another thing my brain quickly had to accept, is that the cats’ sizes to the rest of world morphs from scene to scene. Sometimes the world around them is HUGE and the cats are tiny. Sometimes the cats almost seem human sized compared to…

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