The Day I Decided To Be Myself

I was a chubby baby. I was cute and everyone desired to have me in their arms. For a reason I don’t really get, people always prefer chubby babies, and I was one.

Like many chubby babies, I was expected to get thin while growing. I think my carrier as an expectation breaker started there. I, the universe, God, my genes or whatever you want had decided something else for me, and that was to grow as a chubby child. I hence became a chubby infant, then a chubby pre-teen, and then a chubby teen.

As far as I remember, never a day passed without I was made a remark (most of the time, a negative one) about my weight. When it was not my parents telling me I had to become thiner so I could fit in dresses with ease, or be “healthy”, it was classmates, neighbours, family members or people on the road trying to make me a subject of mockery. However, all this negativity only succeeded in contributing to the strong woman I am.

It happened when I was ten..

It was a friday afternoon. I was back from school and after loosening my braids, I was strucked by what I saw in the mirror. The image reflected was that of an astonishing young girl with shiny eyes, pretty lips, and extremely beautiful hair. I hence decided to look better at my features. I took precious time to look at every detail of my face and concluded I really had nothing to be ashamed of.

Yes I was chubby. But I was more than that !

I soon started understanding most people that tried to bring me down were in reality broke souls, battling with self esteem and trying to put their pain, fears and fustrations on other people. I was only a scape goat, and I decided I was not going to take their psychological problems personally.

This made me grow compassion.

Not only did I REALISE I was astonishing outside, but I was growing into a beautiful being inside, that had compassion and could feel for others. This made me irresistible..

People will try to bring you down. This is only a reflection of who tbey are. Not what you are. Like it was the case of my classmates, my neighbours old and young. Trying to bring me down because they couldn’t take the beauty they saw in me, while they couldn’t even see theirs.

People will try to throw their frustrations on you. Like my mom did, surely because she was herself a chubby kid and had her sisters mock at her when she wouldn’t dress in a fashionable way because of her weight…Or my dad, who was afraid I would have to deal with the health issues he dealth with, because of his weight gain.

People will try to dictate you. Not only your weight, but your relationships and your life as a whole. But they will be able to only..IF YOU PERMIT THEM !

Don’t get drowned in the seas of opinion ! Don’t make your life sad by making people’s ideas of what you should be matter more than your deepest beliefs.

You do not need anyone’s approval. You just need to realise who you are, and find your beauty, your star, deep within your heart.

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