The Best Kept Secret Of Success

Forcing the commitment level of your ‘whys’ are the key to succeeding in everything you do.

Humans are adaptable — on one day, someone can be weak and regular, on another, super human and adaptable.

When it matters, we find a way.

One day while her son was working underneath his car, Angela Cavallo came to find the car had fallen on her son and he was knocked out unconscious. She was able to raise the car 4 inches off the ground while help arrived.

This is a forcing function.

Bringing it to the day to day context, as any well-read personal growth reader knows, you don’t get successful without strong reasons. From Tony Robbins to Mark Twain who said:

Yet as Cavallo demonstrates, often while knowing the reasons we need to uphold the standards we desire, it’s just not enough.

The next step to ensure those reasons become meaningful is by making them not just real, but forced.

The difference between showing up to the battle field and burning the boats to ensure there’s no retreat or the difference between having a girlfriend or proposing to be married for a lifetime.

For me recently, overcoming my own impulse for fomo, it took doing a business that forced a 10 year lease. Upon signing it, whether my business partner and I got a long, we now have to make it work.

I propose something more:

It takes pain and hard conversation to create change.

For all humanity, family’s have been a great forcing function that have pushed men and women to show up each day.

This is why I’m also doubling down the commitment of my relationships, moving in with my girlfriend (which freaked me out the first week) and

With nothing, he humbly asked his wife to marry him which was only the beginning of his family and work journey.

A lot of men (myself included) think of it as the other way around with the intention of avoiding struggle.

“When I’m financially free, I’ll get married.”

It should be the opposite in fact. “I’ll get married to help force me to become financially free.”

Focus is hard, and commitment forces focus.

We often weigh the downside suffering heavily against it’s benefit to push us toward our goals.

This is of course understandable as we’re wired to run away from fear and follow the path of least resistance — therefore making this strategy very counter intuitive.

One has much more pressure than the other. But it’s pressure that makes diamonds, not stagnation or more of the same.

Dr. Hardy took this one step further. Not only did he get married, he adopted three foster kids all at once. Again, this was all while he wasn’t financially free or financially abundant.

The former who wait to become financially free before diving in, lose time and the forcing functions that make that time more meaningful, high-stakes and therefore more focused.

In a coaching session we had a few years back, I asked him about it and his response was simply:

“I like to do what’s hard.”

And it’s true. The harder the experience, the more we learn. The harder the conversation, the more change that results from it.

That’s why in only two to three years, he’s gone from zero to making millions as an author and coach.

Have the courage to raise the commitment level of your reasons and you will force yourself to be successful.

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